by Terri Register

Created on: November 30, 2009

Some women crave the story book ending. Women know that with this type of ending there is certainty of a "happily" ever after. Unlike real life, filled with uncertainties and natural disasters, in the land of fairy dust and blood thirsty vampires love seems to always find its way back home.

Real love and real romance can be scary. It requires vulnerability, perseverance, and sacrifice. No one wants to ever have their heart caught between a rock and a hard place. So instead we rush to the movies to see the latest romantic comedy, or pick up the latest best selling romance novel from our favorite bookstore. Fictional characters aren't real therefore we find ourselves believing that anything is possible with them in our subconscious lives. They will never do anything to cause us to actually ever have to use the faded notion of forgiveness.

For others, fictional characters become an escape from reality. They can become an escape from that criticizing boyfriend or abuse husband; that nagging mother or that dead beat father. They can even be an escape from that toxic boss or that backstabbing coworker. There is a subconscious belief that somehow those characters can permeate the realm of reality and become as real as we want them to be.

They allow the characters to radiate a false sense of hope. They place their faith in something they see as fail proof and dramatically romantic in essence; the promise of love, life, and adventure. With this type of romance no one gets hurt because humanity is not fictional.

Perhaps a woman finds her self esteem reflected on the ability of someone to love her. Even if that someone can never be touched, that character can exist within the corners of her mind giving her the love that she is doubtful to ever receive. This is how she feels strong and powerful. This is how she feels beautiful.

In actually, a romance that only exists within the corners of one's mind can be somewhat dangerous. It can yield an unrealistic standard of perfection which can affect the perception of reality. For instance, if a woman who is a romantic fantasist finds herself involved in a real life romance she may place unrealistic demands on the individual and the relationship as a whole, therefore causing its inevitable destruction.

All women are beautiful, and they all deserve a genuine love; one that is filled with nonfictional elements such as patience and understanding-among many others. Happily ever after does exist, but only if we choose it to come into existence. We must acknowledge reality in order to change it.

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