by Cheryl Barnette

Created on: November 30, 2009   Last Updated: October 30, 2010

Polyamory is defined as being the practice of loving more than one person at a time, but with honesty and integrity. This word was coined by a pagan Priestess, Morning Glory Zell, and embodies a range of lifestyle alternatives. Polyamorists believe that monogamy is deceitful, which accounts for the numerous incidences of homicides from domestic violence, the jealousy and possessiveness that consume the monogamist. This lifestyle is looked upon as being suspect, as it seems suspiciously like "swinging", or "wife-swapping." By the way, why isn't it called "husband-swapping" or even "husband/wife swapping?" Ponder on that for a time.

Sex is considered not the enemy, but the real enemy being the distrust and deceit that occurs in monogamy. They believe love is infinite, and they say you love only one person at a time and will stay with that person, "forsaking all others" which is a fairytale. For instance, if you have a child, and another comes along, you do not stop loving that first child because the second one was born. That would be preposterous. So, you wouldn't give a child half-love because of another.

Polyamorists also say that jealousy is not inherent, and that despite what most people believe, it is possible to obliterate. And this is not to say that they do not deal with it, because they do. They learn to deal with it responsibly and have coined another term for this, which is "compersion", the satisfaction that you feel when you know the one you love is loved by someone else. Sounds rather far-fetched, but keep an open mind.

They believe in long-term relationships, and this lifestyle should not be confused with "free love" that was so dominant in the '60s, and had drugs and hallucinogenics added to an arsenal for their raids of promiscuity and orgiastic free-for-alls. In a further explanation to this concept, Derek McCullough and David S. Hall, Ph.D. quote from "Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, Volume 6, Feb. 27, 2003,"

"In examining the natural structure of things, the binary system doesn't really stand out. The atomic structure has three parts; proton, electron, and neutron. These then combine to produce a complex array of atoms and thence molecules. Architectural structures generally, from the pyramids through to the geodesic domes of Buckminster Fuller, are based on the triangle. In music, a three-note chord is more dynamic and powerful than one made up of two notes. I know these are not persuasive arguments, but the triad is also a very common

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