by Joey Sett Brady

Created on: November 28, 2009

Nick Banks is a terrific best friend, especially if you are willing to concede that the world revolves around him and the primary purpose of life is to make Nick more comfortable. Nick is what you would call the classic pretty boy, the type that men serving life sentences pray they will be able to share a cell with. Narcissistic is not a strong enough word to describe Nick. I can honestly say in our ten years of friendship, we have had two conversations on my well-being. One time being when I had a severe cold, and a worried Nick called me twice to make sure I was still able to drive him to a mutual friend's birthday party. Another time when Nick compassionately came to my grandfather's funeral with a card that eloquently stated, On The Loss Of Your Grandmother. That coupled with Nick's warm words of Sucks about your grandma must be in the extended version on the stages of dealing with grief by Kubler-Ross. On my birthday last week, Nick did get me a card and a gift. He evidently had a 10 dollar bill on him, as the card was $2.75, and the money in the card was 7.25. It was quite thoughtful of Nick to stuff his change in the card as a gift to me. I often wonder: why I am friends with such a person? Last Saturday night, I decided I was going to meet Nick at our favorite bar and confront him. I found him in the middle of writing down his phone number on a slip of paper and handing it to two gorgeous girls. Giggling, they left with a wave and a promise to call.

Too easy. He muttered to me. Do you know that paper I just gave those girls my number on? It is written on an ATM receipt I found with 50 grand in the checking. It took me 20 minutes of going through the garbage at the bank to find one with that much money. They will think I am a major money player. Now, the really hot one is for me, but feel free to go for the other one. Now what did you need to tell me?

Um, nothing, I said watching the girls through the bar window. I just wanted to thank you for the 7.25. It was really nice.

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