by Mary Brotherton

Created on: November 27, 2009   Last Updated: November 28, 2009

My family is large. With seven siblings who have an average of three children each, now married with children of their own and scattered across the United States, we learned years ago that simply being together for a shared meal provides more emotional well-being than spending too much money on too many gifts that will soon be in the landfills. Our matriarch and individual families became the focus for our gifts. Brothers, sisters, and their children were phased out after attempts at drawing names and Secret Santa exchanges. In the end, the important thing about Christmas, or any holiday, is having time to spend with those you love.

My husband has one sister. They each have one child. His father and stepmother are also from small families. Christmas gift giving in his family is a production, intended to prolong the experience. When I first joined the family, their tradition involved clues or riddles placed on the package, near the name tag. No gift could be opened until the recipient correctly guessed what was inside. I recall one year when gift opening lasted four hours!

Several years ago, Christmas season felt more stressful to my husband and me than ever. We were both unemployed and relied on the generosity of family to remain in our home. My husband's father gave us money for Christmas shopping because he wanted us to remain involved in the family tradition of gift giving. The pressure to keep up with the family tradition was almost too much. It didn't make sense for us to accept money for the sole purpose of keeping the status quo. Our purchases that year felt hollow and I wanted to do something that was uniquely mine - a gift from the heart.

I'd long collected stories that tugged at my heart. Once I began using the Internet years ago, the stories seemed to appear in my email magically. Friends shared stories of inspiration and hope, stories about richness in spite of poverty and stories about the real meaning of Christmas.

One of my all time favorite short stories is O. Henry's Gift of the Magi ,so naturally I started with that. I found other stories that revolved around Christmas and familial love. Printing one out for each person expected that year, I simply put them in envelopes and passed them out randomly - after we'd finished opening all the gifts. I explained that I felt I needed to give something from myself since our finances didn't allow us to participate fully in the family tradition of giving many gifts. We each read the stories aloud and by the time the last story had been completed; many people were wiping tears from their eyes.

The next year, we were both working again, but I wanted to keep the stories. I reprinted the ones from the year before and put them in a scrapbook, noting who had read each. Now, many years later, I make two copies: one to read and one ready for the scrapbook. It's a tradition that costs very little but adds tremendously to the emotional well-being of my husband's family.

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