by Aeryka Rae

Created on: November 27, 2009   Last Updated: November 29, 2009

Love Letters, Revised ~

Everything about Tony was poetic; his love, our conversations, even the love letters he wrote to me. I've kept and stored them for 'poetic justice'. Upon reading them, I wondered how someone could express such things to me; and due to an undisclosed displeasure he had with me...well, maybe a few...their meaning have all dissipated from the heart and mind. How does the essence of one's love dissipate? When you find love, and depart from the object of its affection...where does the love go?

We had a great relationship, so I thought; one you just don't experience with too many others. Among many other things, we accompanied one another to various places neither one of us had ever gone; we've been exposed to people we (most likely) will never meet again. But, our break-up solidified considerations for it being a best selling novel; maybe even a script for 'the big screen'. It was a good one (for the most part), but suffered a slow and agonizing death.

In the beginning, his ways were not difficult for me to adapt to. A man six years my senior, seemed normal and responsible; yet, was obviously out of touch with reality and his own mortality; that is, until it was necessary for him to display being otherwise. Unfortunately, these days, everything under the sun is accepted by much of society. Old men secretly fooling around with young girls who become their 'fountain of youth', and older woman being left out of their dating scene simply because of what they seemingly lack in being able to offer them. Tony used to tell me on various occasions that he 'will live forever'. At first, I had difficulty understanding what he meant by this. However, through paying close attention to everything he communicated and exposed to me...I learned he had struggled juggling multiple relationships, as anyone would. He often hibernated when matters became too overwhelming for him.

I clearly understand why so much of his past was exposed to me; it was for such a time as this. It was God's will. Sharing too much information on my past relationships is something I choose not to expose going into a new relationship. I can do without knowing someone else's because the knowledge somehow rears its ugly head sooner or later. Over time, I've learned that people have the capability of changing; however, the affects surrounding certain circumstances they've encountered does not change unless they're willing to change them, and, for the right reasons. A person can take themselves

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