by Maria C Collins

Created on: November 24, 2009   Last Updated: March 18, 2010

Many people really enjoy weddings. Some people even gatecrash the weddings of people they don't know, just to get their wedding fix. Other people hate weddings; their hearts sink at the sound of another wedding invitation plopping on the mat. They wonder how they can possibly get out of attending the wedding. What are the reasons why some people hate weddings when others love them?

Personal unhappiness: Weddings bring back memories and it is easy to see that they must be particularly painful to someone who has lost their spouse through death or divorce.

Broken hearts and broken dreams: Anyone who has suffered a broken engagement or love affair must also find weddings unbearably painful. Having to attend someone else's wedding, when your own hopes and dreams have been shattered and you are still hurting must cause you intense pain.

Jealousy: There are two strands to jealousy which is mainly felt by women. The first is the single girl who desperately wants to get married, perhaps she is in a relationship where her boyfriend refuses to commit or she is not in a relationship at all cannot find a suitable man. She sees all her friends getting married and feels that she might be left "on the shelf". The second, is the married woman who regrets that her own wedding day was not like this wedding, perhaps through circumstance she had to have a rushed wedding and couldn't have all the trimmings.

Sour grapes and disapproval: Some idealistic people disapprove of the money spent on frivolous things, over-indulgence and, what they see as, selfishness, when there are poor people in the world. Some just disapprove of other people enjoying themselves full stop.

Cynicism: So many marriages end a few years after a lavish wedding, that some people have become cynical about marriage and weddings, and think that all marriages end in divorce. This is not true, the divorce rate in western society is high but not all marriages end in the divorce court; long and happy marriages do exist.

The simple is best brigade: There are some people who disapprove of the three ringed circus that is the reality of weddings in modern times. They feel that the wedding now means more than the marriage. That a simple ceremony and small party are better, and more meaningful, than the huge ceremony and the lavish reception. That if all the fuss and hullabaloo was stripped away, couples would realize what a serious commitment they are making to one another.

People are all individual and their attitudes to everything in life, including weddings, differ greatly. Whether you love or hate weddings, they are a fact of life and you cannot hide from life. If you are planning a wedding do try to be understanding of the reluctant guest.

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