by Maria C Collins

Created on: November 24, 2009   Last Updated: November 25, 2009

There is no such thing as wedded bliss; it only really exists in romantic novels. Happiness, of any kind, is something that takes hard work and commitment. You only get out of life, as well as marriage, what you put in. Any relationship will not thrive in a vacuum and marriage is no exception. A marriage takes time to build but there are some factors that will aid a couple in building a marriage on strong foundations.

A basic friendship and respect for one another will go far in carrying you both through times that are anything but blissful. Good manners are part of that respect and friendship. You chose your spouse from all others to be your life's partner and so you should treat them with the respect, consideration, thoughtfulness and courtesy that you would treat anyone else. Too many couples believe that being married means that you can be disrespectful to one another. Some couples put one another down in public as a form of point scoring. If you have a problem with your spouse and need to do some hard talking, it is something that should be done in private between the two of you and not in the middle of a dinner party with friends.

Trust is really a part of respect. Do not keep secrets from or lie or tell half-truths to your partner.

Many people believe that married couples should do everything together. That is wrong, you should make room for your spouse in your life but each should keep their own friends and interests. You are not joined at the hip but neither are you semi-detached. Married couples do not suddenly become twins when they marry they are still individual people as well as a couple.

Appreciate your spouse, compliments on a job well done or for thoughtfulness and consideration are the cement of a good marriage. Don't take one another for granted.

Never forget the little things, for it is not grand romantic gestures that make for a good marriage but a huge succession of little everyday things; a wife thanking her husband for taking her out and for a pleasant evening, just as she did when they were courting or a husband thanking his wife every day for cooking his dinner. A love note in his lunch box or left on the kitchen notice board, a sudden 'phone call asking her to meet him for lunch, all keep the romance alive.

The state of wedded bliss only occurs in silly romantic novels. The hero and heroine do not leave their fairytale wedding and float gently into a state of bliss. After the excitement of their wedding they must get down to the serious business of married life. A good marriage does not just happen; couples build it with loving care and attention over years.

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