by April Wilson

Created on: November 24, 2009

We all have those in our lives that we would rather... weren't in our lives. We usually feel guilty over it, but still. There are just some people who will drain the energy right out of you, raise your stress levels, and make you miserable. How do you protect yourself from draining friends and acquaintances? And how do you let them know the situation without hurting their feelings?

1. Learn to just say NO.

If you're invited somewhere where you know there will be several people which you find draining, or if one of the draining people you know is pressuring you into doing something, just say NO. There is no real benefit to fulfilling social obligations with people you wish wouldn't ask you places in the first place. Many people accept social invitations just because they're given. We're raised with a certain type of manners and we don't want to hurt other people, but sometimes you just have to say that you're unavailable.

2. Limit your exposure

If you are going to be around a friend or acquaintance that you find draining, limit your exposure. Cut your visit short. You can make up an excuse why, or just be honest, say you feel drained. Of course if you continually tell the same person you have to leave early because you feel drained, they're likely to think you have Chronic Fatigue syndrome, rather than think they are the culprit.

3. Take a nap beforehand

Whether or not you can limit your exposure to the draining individual, consider taking a nap before the event to recharge your batteries so you're less likely to get dragged down by the person or people who drain you.

4. Be honest

If someone that drains you keeps inviting you somewhere, or you keep being invited somewhere you know draining people will be, it might not be enough to just say no or cut your visits short. If the invitations keep happening it might be time to have a candid conversation. You don't have to be rude, but explain to the individual that your energy level and theirs just don't mesh and that it's nothing personal but you get tired very quickly being around them.

If this is a good friend and you are careful not to hurt their feelings, they may understand and either try to tone down the energy draining behaviors, or give you some more space. If it's a more casual acquaintance they may not take it nearly as well, but it is better to be honest and remove the draining person from your social life than it is to have to continually try to extricate yourself from the situation every time it happens.

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