by Valerie Gawthrop

Created on: November 23, 2009

A resolution is a promise. It can be turned into a goal, something to be accomplished, but really it's a promise to be kept. You promise to lose weight, quit smoking, balance the checkbook and run three miles a day. By the second week in January you develop resolution amnesia. Otherwise those broken promises would cause guilt and pain. But hey, you only promised yourself, it's just a resolution. How about making some resolutions for a better marriage? Here are some ideas. Now you're making promises to your spouse.

Listen to one another.

What did you say? That's easy. Really? Men and women communicate differently. The time for meaningful conversation isn't when you're walking through the front door after a long day at work and the baby is crying. Wait until you are both relaxed and ready to have a heart-to-heart. You don't have to discuss earth-shattering topics if you're making an effort to hear what the other person is saying. Focus on just the two of you. Don't expect your spouse to read your mind. Tell him what you're thinking, unless you're thinking about killing him for the leaving the toilet seat up, again.

Respect each other.

Once you understand what your mate is saying and feeling, respect it. Don't try to tell them how they feel or what they need.

Share the housework.

Every household is different. One size does not fit all. The important thing is that you agree on what duties are delegated to each member of the household and what consequences will follow if someone neglects these responsibilities. This includes children. Some of the chores can and should be done together. Working together to clean the garage or turn the mattresses can bring you closer.

Improve the family finances.

Sex and money are the two monsters that can rip apart a marriage. Getting out of debt is at the top of most resolution lists this year. You owe it to yourselves to get on the same page concerning financial decisions. Come to an understanding together on how to use your income without it using you. Make sure that both of you are included regardless of who makes the most money.

Make dates with each other.

Remember how it was when you were dating? Resolve to recapture some of that excitement. If you have more children than money, hire a sitter. Does anyone remember parking? Go to a drive-through and eat dinner in the car. Play a romantic CD and hold hands. Talk to each other like you did when you felt that first blush of love.

Show your spouse that you love them.

The most important promise you can make your mate is to love them. Think of something you can do every day to let your lover know how much you cherish them. You might think that bringing home a single rose is corny but each petal lets your wife know how important she is to you. Better yet, surprise her by scouring the oven. Ladies, learn something about football before Super Bowl Sunday. Instead of nagging, become your husband's cheerleader. Tell him what a wonderful job he did on that oven.

You made promises to each other when you got married. Those promises were called wedding vows. This New Year take a little time to make more promises and call them resolutions for a happy marriage.

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