by Michelle Reeves

Created on: November 23, 2009   Last Updated: November 28, 2009

Should ex lovers be friends? Well, not best friends. Keep it on a friendly acquaintance level. Difficulty could arise with a new relationship if you were good friends with your ex lovers. Look inside yourself to see how it would make you feel. Regardless of how secure you are in yourself, ex lovers in the picture can surely rise up some insecurity in a person.

Questions about the relationship could arise, like Why are you still good friends? If you are still good friends, why did you break up? If you are still close, are you still fooling around? Are you friends with benefits? These questions would rise up in me if my boyfriend was still good friends with his ex lover. Why go through all those thoughts and feelings, setting off emotions that aren't necessary. This type of situation is like getting on an emotional roller-coaster, you're up you're down, you're twisted all around. The only exception would be if your ex lover had a new partner as well, then it would ease some of the curiosity.

It would also depend on how new your relationship is and when you found out about the ex lover. Was it one week or one month or six months into the relationship, that would definitely be a factor in whether you would feel comfortable with the idea. The quicker you tell someone about a relationship like that, the better. The longer you wait to say something about it, the more it will look like it was being hidden. There should be honesty, loyalty, and faithfulness in a relationship from the get go, that makes a partner feel that you are trustworthy. If you don't have those key ingredients in a relationship, it won't last long, you are looking for hardship and heartache. Silence on the situation isn't good either. Always keep an open line of communication between you and your partner, especially if this ex lover relationship bothers you.

If you are still calling and talking for hours on the phone, or you hang out and joke around, maybe there are some unresolved feelings still there. Figure it out, either step away or get back together. We shouldn't drag ourselves through the mud over a relationship that won't amount to anything. If you don't get back together, keep your ex lovers at arms length, if the relationship is over, then let it be, don't try to make something of it if nothing is there. It is good to be acquaintances, but not friends.

Learn more about this author, Michelle Reeves.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.