by Jane Kay

Created on: November 23, 2009

1. Women never stop thinking.

If you knew how my brain never stops working and processing, you'd understand why I ask you what you're thinking, and why "nothing" is not a plausible answer. I'm sorry my disbelief annoys you, but evolution has not taught me, as of yet, how to spend any length of time thinking about nothing. How someone can actually have no thoughts going on inside their head is incomprehensible to us.

2. We want you to be greater than us.

I don't exist to make you feel small. My mission is not to make you feel like you can't do it, or I can do it better. I am more disappointed when you can't do something than when I can't do something.

3. Almost every stupid question you think we ask is actually, "Do you love me, still?"

When I ask you how my dress looks, or if you're glad to be home, it's not a useless question. Almost everything I ask, if interpreted correctly, can be correlated to my wanting and needing to be reminded that you still love me, without asking if you still love me. "How do I look in this dress?" is not a trap; I seriously want to know if you still think I'm beautiful, and no, your having told me yesterday wasn't enough. I'm not wanting you to lie to me, but I want you to word it carefully. "You always look beautiful, but I love seeing you in that blue dress more than this one - it accentuates your great body." This beats being told, "You look fine," which doesn't tell me you still find me beautiful, and I definitely don't want you to tell me my butt looks big in this dress which confirms in my mind, you no longer love me. I know these questions petrify you because you don't know the answer, but if you interpreted it in your head as my asking if you still find me attractive, love me, want me, and need me - the proper answer should become resoundingly clear.

4. We want you to be our knight in shining armor.

I know it's ridiculous; I know we have spent years trying to get equal pay, equal rights and equal everything. I know around every corner, we say we are just as good as you. That said, I want you to fight for me, save me, protect me. I also know it's silly, but it's what I want and if you knew that, it would make all the difference in the world.

5. We're hurt by complacency.

In a relationship, women try and try. Whether we have the energy to actually do it or not, our minds are constantly assessing our relationship and pondering solutions to our problems. We constantly want to make it work. When you don't put in the same effort

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