by Rosa Lee

Created on: November 22, 2009   Last Updated: November 28, 2009

To me, Christmas is about spending time together as a family; laughing, relaxing, sharing thoughtful gifts and building good memories. We rarely see that kind of Christmas anymore. I haven't quite crossed the line into "hate," but the loss of "something special" is why I've come to dislike this holiday.

Christmas is all about stress and anxiety. Did we forget to buy a card or gift for someone? Did we spend too much (or too little) on a gift? What do we get for the guy who has everything or the gal who hates everything? Commercials blaring, carols being repeated until they've lost all meaning. The greedy cries of "I want" and the staggering amount of store-bought junk piled under the tree for children who will never learn to appreciate the value of a gift.

I miss the sanctity of careful decorations. I miss the reverence of the carols. I miss the joy on a person's face when they open a present that took you days to make. I miss the pleasure gained from finding one candy cane and one Clementine in a stocking. I miss the hushed awe of Christmas Eve and loud jovial conversation over a meal that many hands helped to prepare.

My Christmas memories are being filled with heart-wrenching moments. Her disappointed face when she saw that I'd given her "another piece of art" and never-mind that it took me many days to craft it or that each hour spent on it was another hour I spent focusing loving thoughts on her. A cuddly bear hand-puppet tossed aside because Mommy wants baby to focus on the expensive store-bought presents. The blank stare from a child when they see their present doesn't require hours of surgery to remove it from a box.

My stomach roils when I see that 5 adults have pile thirty presents under the tree for one child, each gift more expensive than the last. What can I possibly get for the child that he doesn't already have under that tree? God, how I miss the light in a child's eyes when they open a present and how their little arms wrap around my neck, raining kisses on my cheek ...

When did our children stop learning the value of gifts? Where did the magic go? Our parents always built that bubble of magic around Christmas for us. Why haven't we done the same for our children?

I must be careful how far I wander down this path of thought or I will truly end up hating Christmas ...

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