by DThere

Created on: November 22, 2009

Relationships end in different ways. Some end abruptly and others, gradually. One day you find that you are not as close to that childhood friend you had all your life - you find that you both have changed and moved in different directions. Perhaps, you did not recognize that neither of you called as frequently. You did not notice that contact between you had tapered off.

Perhaps you have been in a romantic relationship for several years and recently have found a "distance" developing. You have tried to address current changes in your relationship but your partner does not seem as interested as you in maintaining the relationship. After several attempts you reach a point of giving up and the expectation that the relationship will continue is no longer present.

Maybe you are in a very confusing, volatile relationship. You feel as if there are four people involved. When you are kind, your partner is irritable, when you are frustrated, your partner his kind to you. You find that there are periods of peace but when things go wrong one person throws things, the other starts cursing - maybe there is even some hitting and shoving? You love your partner but you are beginning to want to get out of this relationship - just for your own safety and peace of mind.

Perhaps you thought a relationship is over (well, at least in your mind) but your former partner keeps calling, leaving notes, sending e-mails, appears at places where you are hanging out. You ask the person to back off but he or she does not.

Closure at the end of a relationship is not always simple. The easiest closure is when one person states "It is over and I never want to see you again" and you honor the request. You both decide and accept the end and both move on. The most difficult closure is when you do not want a relationship to end but your partner does. You may plead with tears. You continue contact even as your partner asks you to be left alone. You are confronted by pain for now you need to work through a loss.

One cannot predict when closure is complete. However, you may find signs that you are moving on by examining your feelings periodically (some people keep a journal so that they can see progress in letting go of a relationship - moving on). You may find through time that you think about the relationship and your former partner less and less. You may also notice that as you think of your past relationship you experience less emotional pain (however, there are some people who are never able or

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