by Thornshackle

Created on: November 21, 2009   Last Updated: November 22, 2009

Harvest moon isn't a lunar phase; and it's not a time of year, or something that happens at some point in the fall. For that matter, Harvest moon isn't even a place to go.

What harvest moon is is this: Harvest moon is the time of year when all of us frat boys get together to score the sweet money makers of all the pretty young co-eds on campus.

You see, at the very beginning of the semester, we're in phase one: Sowing mode (Also called Spotting Mode). Basically we go around with our digital cameras, and we take snap shots, first of the backsides, and then of the faces of the owners of said backsides, so that we can later tell which posterior belongs to which girl. We then compare notes as it were, divvying up our collection of potential score-ees into lists from most desirable, to what we call the take it or leave it pile. Once we have all of this settled it's time to move on with phase two.

Phase Two: The Big Shmooze. The Big Shmooze (Also called casting our line or net.) is quite probably the whole back bone of the Harvest Moon event. During The Big Shmooze, we play up, chat up, suck up, get in good with, secure the trust of, and otherwise befriend what we like to consider our crop, and if the young lady happens to be fortunate enough to make it onto our most desirable list, then we may say that she is among the cream of the crop. Lascivious pun not intended...yet. During this time we like to position ourselves (again no sexual pun intended, yet) into the girls' mind set as a sort of confidante. We don't want any of the girls to view any of us as that long term boyfriend, let alone "the one", but rather as somebody they desire to trust, and would be willing to do certain thing for if the situation, and setting were right.
Likewise it is important that we also not get attached, because it has happened a few times before, and it never ends well. Especially when the girl gets wind of the guy's original intention, and even if the guy's intention has changed, she never believes him, and ugh, it's just one big mess. So, again it is just as important-if not more so, that the guy doesn't get attached, as it is that the girl knows that while there is clearly an attraction, that there's no defined relationship blossoming here.

Phase Three: The Harvest. This is where Harvest Moon gets its name. You see all semester long we've been pruning, and priming; grooming and griming these hot, hot young ladies to submit to our whims. By now if we have done our jobs right, they (that is the girls we've been playing up to all semester) will have allowed themselves to be lulled into a false sense of security, based almost entirely on curiosity, and intrigue which we have been planting into their hormonal little subconscious's for the last few months, will allow themselves to be maneuvered (NOW the double entendres are intended!) into a position where they will, and I mean WILL, trade their dignity for desire, and allow us, to reap the pleasure, of the harvest of their tight little moons.

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