by C.K. Matthews

Created on: November 19, 2009   Last Updated: November 20, 2009

It is said that many states favor the mother in child custody cases. The mindset has always been that mothers have a greater bond and are more nurturing which somehow is interpreted that they would be better caregivers, where as fathers are more disciplinarians and both are now expected to be providers. Is this mindset a fair one? As with all things this is usually determined by ones perspective. If you have come from a broken home and/or have a variety of friends who have come from broken homes you can easily see the difference in attitudes toward this debate.

Before we go any further into who is better suited to be primary caregiver let us first take a look at the needs of the child after all this is supposed to be about the child's needs not the parents. With most cases it seems as if it is about which parent is trying to punish the other without any regard to the child's needs.

Basic needs - children are unable to provide for their own basic needs such as food, clothing, shelter, and medical care.

Nurturing everyone needs nurturing even adults, men and women alike. Nurturing is important to ones self-esteem and ability to grow and develop into positive, happy and loving human being. People receive nurturing through caring hugs, daily praise, and gentle guidance. Parents should foster their children's growth by encouraging them to do well, praising them when they do, helping them develop their natural talents and interest and guiding them to discover new ones.

Basic education is also part of fostering one's growth. Even as adults we should learn something new every day. Why? Well here is one very basic reason we set the primary example for our children children learn best through example. There is no better way to teach our children the importance of education than sharing our love for learning with them. Also learning helps develop new brain cells to replace the ones we destroyed throughout the mistakes of our youth but that's a new article.

One parent may be better than the other at providing certain needs but mothers and fathers are (typically) equally able to provide for each of these needs, however, this is a lot for any one person to take on and do well. If you are a single parent there is no doubt that you can relate to how tending to all of these needs, albeit possible, can become overwhelming and stressful. Do we stop? No way! We love our children and regardless of how stressful it can be nothing can compare to the end result when we see the

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