by Brenda Nelson

Created on: November 18, 2009   Last Updated: November 21, 2009

Heck, you cannot even trust people you meet in person to be honest when it comes to dating. There is no way you should trust somebody you meet in an on-line dating site.

Anyone can say they are something they are not; slightly taller, slightly younger, a tad older, a bit thinner, even gender may be altered. There is no way the site can be expected to check and regulate something that in real life people get away with lying about all the time. Anyone can say they are single, anyone can say they have never been married, anyone can offer themselves on line as having no addictions or mental problems. Nothing is safe.

On-line predators specifically search out lonely people by checking these sites. They know that the other person, unless also a con-artist, is lonely, and may be vulnerable as a result. They know what the person is looking for in a match, and can easily play the chameleon as long as it takes to get what they are after. In some cases they may want nothing more than sex, in some cases it is money they are after, while in some instances it is just the thrill of the deception they enjoy.

Now this is not to say everyone on such a site is a liar, a predator, a fraud, but a certain percentage of them are, just as a certain percentage of people we encounter every day may be the same way.

Trust is an easy thing to gain when a person is vulnerable and wants to find happiness in the arms of another. A person who does not want to get hurt will feel compassionate to the other person who might say something such as expressing being hurt over not being trusted. The desire to trust somebody is strong because if we do not trust a persons interest in us to be genuine it means we may not have been so desirable after all.

Look around, we probably all know somebody who has had their spouse cheat on them, or who has been in a relationship where one person was being taken advantage of by the other. This is not limited to on-line dating, and should not be overlooked.

This is not to say that everyone involved in on-line dating is lying, nor are the all cheats. Anyone who is considering going further with a person they have met on such a site needs to use the same cautions as if they met the person at the grocery store, or bar. If you have any concerns or suspicions, by all means check them out. Ask a friend's opinion of the person, they might see things better without the rose-colored glasses you may be wearing. Expect the same in return. If you do find the person to be serious in fraudulently representing themselves, report them to the site where you met.

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