by Rebecca Thomas

Created on: November 18, 2009

It is important to BE the right kind of friend before we go out to look for the right kind of friend. We have to model the qualities that we would want our friends to have.

From experience and after many years of friendship I have come up with a list that describes the 5 most important qualities in a good friend. While this list is definitely not exhaustive, it is pretty descriptive.

1. Mutual admiration - good friends always see the strengths in their friend. They continually praise them for their goodness instead of focusing on their weaknesses. They are able to close one eye to the weak spots, and thereby help to build them up. My friend always told me when I was wrong, but was my greatest "fan", cheering me on and making the best person I could ever be.

2. Honesty - good friends will always tell you your faults and weaknesses, and also praise your strengths. Their criticism is always constructive, and they have your best interest in mind. For example, if you are going on a date one evening, and your friend sees you not looking your best, she will honestly tell you what is wrong and help you look your very best. There are no feelings of jealousy or envy. A good friend will lovingly tell you your faults. She does not treat me like I am perfect, but she sure does tell me when I am in the wrong.

3. Giving off their precious time, not only their "left over" time - good friends invest a lot of time in the friendship. They don't just land up at your house, when there is nothing else to do or no where else to do. A good friend would rather spend some meaningful and quality time together, getting to know you, and sharing your joys and concerns.

4. Respecting them for who they are - as a good friend, you need you show respect for your friend. Respecting their decisions, their other friends, their job and their personality is crucial to building a meaningful friendship. People like to be appreciated for who they are, without trying to change them. If you are accepting of your friend, you will turn out to be a really good friend!

5. Dependable - a good friend is dependable in the good and bad times. The 'good weather' friends are those who stick around only when times are good. If you lose your job, or get into tough times, they go looking for other people as friends. But a real friend sticks around no matter what. I remember a dear friend who got closer to me when I was going through a really tough patch in life. And she is the one I can enjoy the good times with!

It is a challenge to be a really good friend to someone. But it is all worth it in the end. Gaining a friend and being a good friend is worth more than money can ever buy!

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