by Jared Steinberg

Created on: November 18, 2009

My student held up the drawing up for me to see. It was a self-portrait. I asked her what she thought of it and she said liked it, yet admitted she could have demonstrated a wider range of value. I agreed.

I didn't want to say too much. I didn't want to criticize. That certainly that wasn't the point. The drawing was merely a mark in time; the beginning of her process. Who was I to judge her perceived self? I told her the first time I showed my likeness to the public and the reactions I heard. Mind you, this was not the first self-portrait I ever did, merely the first one I was actually comfortable enough to show to an audience. I recalled some of the comments I heard that evening:

"Your nose isn't that big," someone assured me.

"Your nose should be bigger," someone else declared.

"Your face is fatter," I was told.

And so it went. I received an equal amount of praise and criticism from friends and family alike... whether I wanted to or not.

The impetus behind a self-portrait, in my opinion, is for the artist to learn to view their subject matter more objectively and thus, yield a work that rings true with its audience because it comes from a place of honesty. Finding this kind of honesty takes practice because the artist not only has to have an understanding of anatomical features, but must find a way to get past the psychological hang-ups he or she may have about his or her own body.

The technical ability it requires to do a portrait is challenging enough, but with a self-portrait, the demands go beyond an artist's skill set. Intrinsically we know ourselves better than anyone else ever could, yet it is what we choose to reveal that makes a self-portrait interesting. It can be tempting to get caught up in a perceived ideal. We tend to see ourselves in a subjective light filled with our own biases and often harsh criticisms. As it relates to a self-portrait, these perceptions come through in the rendering of facial features as some areas are exaggerated, distorted, added or even omitted altogether. In some instances, granted, these embellishments are deliberate or part of the artist's style, but many times this is not the case. The goal for my student is to ultimately strip away any influence of self-image to convey an honest portrait.

As I took a closer look at the student's drawing, I could see that she really captured the shape of her nose. The contour of her face, however, was longer in reality than the portrait. Even though I could see her likeness in some areas of the work, there was plenty of room for improvement. I thought about my own work, and how it had been over a year since I attempted a self-portrait. After the lesson was over, I felt it was time for me to do another. So I sat down yesterday and drew one. I think it's good, but it could be better. After all, we are just works in progress.

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