by Emilie West

Created on: November 16, 2009

You're just having a regular conversation, but the other person is looking a little uncomfortable. After a short silence, he of she changes the subject and goes: "Can you keep a secret?"

Nine in ten people would probably be better off by saying "Sorry, no can do", but out of curiosity you ask anyways. And before you know it, a heavy load is hanging on your conscience, almost too heavy to carry around. You just really want to tell someone else, transfer the heaviness. It has no value to you beside a disingenuous promise you said you would keep...

Whilst dragging it along with you in every conversation, you start to wonder... would it hurt to tell just one other person? "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but...", and afterwards, you feel fifty pounds lighter and very much relieved, knowing you just dropped your boulder on someone else's head.

It's like a game that no one has figured out entirely how to win yet. We pass the buck along until someone just can't take it anymore and spills the beans. We nod empathetically and say "I won't tell anyone", with not the slightest remorse when those underhanded words are forgotten and neglected. We even try with our best of hearts to keep said promises, but in the end none of us are that righteous.

Is it because we are collectively untrustworthy? Because we want to show off what we know? Because in the end it's every man for themselves? Maybe. What we know is that secrets hardly ever remain secrets, not after they've been told once. Say those words out loud and be assured they will be spoken out loud again.

Now, can I keep a secret? I like to tell myself that I do. I pride myself, saying I'm such a good friend, who can be told anything. I pad myself on the back for keeping my thoughts to myself, for the ability of controlling what comes out of my mouth so well. But, truth be told, I'm no different than anyone else. You tell me something I'm not supposed to know, you're basically asking me to spit it out to someone else.

So what lesson do we learn from this? Keep your secrets a secret. Keep them so secret in fact, that no one knows of them enough to call them a secret. Consider them 'thoughts unspoken' and if you must tell, consider the consequences. Because we all love to blab. Because secrets always come out.

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