by Susan B. Anna

Created on: November 16, 2009

Christmas was always usually the best time of the year for me. Decorating, cooking and listening to Christmas carols a month before the holidays was always the norm, but somehow that year I just couldn't focus on nothing other than being alone. The joy of Christmas was definitely not with me that year and I hated him for making me feel this way. Kevin and I broke up the day after Thanksgiving. We had driven over to his families that year, but I sort of knew something wasn't right with him. The drive up was stiffly quiet, and even when we arrived at his parents he made himself scarce by spending the majority of his time in the basement watching football with his football fanatic relatives.

I tried my best to be as helpful as possible in the kitchen as I absolutely adore cooking and the smell of Turkey, sweet potato and pumpkin pie wafting throughout the house. There was nothing like the smell of cinnamon and spice throughout the holidays, and Thanksgiving was always a jumpstart to the many other delicacies we enjoy throughout like, eggnog, sugar cookies, and my personal favorite since I am Latin pasteles. Everything we had prepared looked and smelled divine, and once the table was set and the family was called up to eat I couldn't help but notice my boyfriend trying his very best to avoid me.

We were all seated across each other by couple, his sister's and I on one side of the table with his sister-in-law as well, and the men opposite us. Everyone had something to say, and everyone simply chatted but we hadn't said a word. It wasn't long though before someone else noticed our silence and questioned it. Kevin's sister who was always outspoken soon looked at us and asked point blank if something was amiss. I'm as much in the dark as you are, I replied and he glared at me. So then tell us, she asked him directly and he snapped at her. It doesn't concern you and this isn't the right time or place to discuss it so back off. With that said the table became deathly silent and I had no place to hide. The more I stood before him the more uncomfortable I became and then to think we had to share a room later as well.

Needless to say the rest of the evening was as bleak as it began and the distance between us became more and more evident. We spent the night as planned but he slept in the pull out day bed near the window and I slept on the bed. When I couldn't take the silence treatment any longer I turned on the light and asked him what was bothering him. I don't know

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