by Jennifer Macon-Steele

Created on: November 16, 2009

You are not going to be a perfect parent.

Just get that thought out of your head right now. You are going to make mistakes. You are probably going to make lots of them. That's part of parenting. The best you can do is to do your very best.

There is no set of rules or dos and don'ts for how to be a great parent. If you encounter someone who tells you differently, you should be wary of that person's advice. No one technique or approach works for every child. Children are complicated individuals with their own personalities and experiences. It would be ridiculous to say that one approach will be the right one for every child in every situation.

Having said that, parenting is not a shot in the dark either. If you keep a few things in mind, you will be on the way to being the best parent that you can be.

The first thing to remember is to be deliberate in your parenting. This means you don't just do or say the first thing that pops into your head but instead you take some time to consider the situation. What has brought your child to this situation? What may he be thinking or feeling? What would be the best outcome for him, and how can you make that happen?

Another thing to remember is to develop a thick skin. The parent whose child is always happy is doing something wrong. Kids are not going to be happy all the time, and sometimes they are going to be angry with you. They will not always agree with your decisions, and they are not always going to want to do everything you tell them to do. Parenting is not about popularity. If you have assessed the situation and made the decision you believe is best for your kids and your family, then you have to stick to that no matter how your child reacts. Remember that you are doing the right thing for that child, even if you have to sacrifice a little bit emotionally.

Another tip to great parenting is to ignore unsolicited advice. Your own parents, your friends, your siblings and even strangers are going to tell you how to parent your children. If you respect their advice, that's great. If you ask for it, that's great too. But you do not have to consider everything every person says to you about your parenting. You do what you believe is right for your child. With the single exception of the child's other parent, you are the only person who gets to decide how to parent your child.

Finally, trust your instincts as a parent. There may be a time where you have a nagging feeling about a particular situation involving your children. Maybe it's a sleepover that doesn't seem quite right or maybe you think your child could use some extra cuddle time instead of being in bed at a certain hour. It's okay to trust yourself.

Parenting isn't easy, but it is rewarding. There is no one way to parent correctly. What matters is that you love your children and that you strive to make the best choices for them.

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