by Dale Dolmo

Created on: November 15, 2009   Last Updated: May 08, 2012

Any time a group of people comes together in a confined space, friction is bound to arise from time to time. Add the stress of work, and it's no surprise that the office is a site of conflict for many people. Beyond the superficial feeling of, "I just don't like this person," what are the real roots of office discord?

Misunderstandings
Some conflicts in the office start the way conflicts outside the office do: with crossed signals. Maybe your co-worker misinterpreted an innocent comment you made about her cubicle. Maybe you think an office mate's actions signify something that he really didn't intend. Because the number one cause of hostility is miscommunication, the number one rule to preventing friction with your co-workers is to always assume other people mean well - until you have conclusive proof otherwise.

Unclear Expectations
Some workplace problems arise when expectations are not met, but often the reason people fall short of expectations is that they don't know what they are. For example, your boss might be irritated with you because she feels you didn't finish an assignment quickly enough, and yet she never gave you a clear deadline. You may be angry the "new guy" parked in the space you always use, but unless your office has specifically reserved spaces, how does he know that's "your" spot? The solution for conflicts based on unmet expectations is better communication of what is expected. Of course, the number one rule of assuming goodwill on the part of others still applies here as well.

Gossip
Nothing can stir up an ant nest at work quite like gossip. Whether it's gossip about the company generally, or rumors about one particular co-worker, everyone seems to want to join in. Office gossip - like all gossip - passes the time during a dreary day, and can occasionally contain some useful information. Participating in gossip is a dangerous game, however. It can put you at adds with a co-worker, or even get you in big trouble if you spread a story that turns out to be false. Smart employees know the best place to be when gossip is going on is in the background, with their mouths shut and their ears open.

Selfishness
Sometimes you haven't misunderstood your co-worker's intentions or had your feelings hurt by mistake. Sometimes you have to face that fact that you work with a jerk. Some people believe that life generally, and the workplace specifically, is - or should be - arranged for their convenience. This describes the person who dumps projects on your

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