by Sarah Arnette

Created on: November 15, 2009   Last Updated: November 30, 2009

Love is a common thought during the holidays. There is always the communion of friends and family. Some love can be put through some tests during the holidays, and the loss of love during the holidays can be especially difficult. It was during such holidays that my fiance gave me the best love ever. This is the romantic love that so many dream about during the holidays. This is the love that I experienced during the holidays four years ago. This is the act of love that my now husband gave to me during the holidays, especially as I dealt with the death of my beloved grandfather.

My fiance at the time was always viewed as the quiet one, the one less likely to participate in family activities. My love for him was enough for him and he did not often need the love of an extended family. His family was more like a set of friends, rather than the tight family that I grew up in. For him to engage in family events was often very stressful for him. When he stepped up and helped me and my family through the loss of our patriarch, he proved that he was willing to step outside of his comfort zones for me.

It started in the summer of 2007. My grandfather, whom I have always been close to, got very sick. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the liver. His body's strength quickly deserted him. The man who I have a picture of holding me on his shoulders over and over again could no longer even hold himself up. His spirit never left him during those times though. His mind remained sharp, and he knew the burden he placed on the family with his need for care. Through this time, my fiance was there, helping me care for him. When he needed to be moved, we worked together and moved him. When he wanted to talk, we went over and talked with him.

In early September of that year, my grandmother moved my grandfather to the hospice unit of the local VA. That night we almost lost him, but he pulled through, and all the while my fiance held my hand and kept me strong enough to sit with him while the rest of my family had to leave. He was there through all of the arrhythmic breathing cycles and all the long pauses where his next breath should have been. He was there when my grandfather regained consciousness. He was there with a meal and hot chocolate when it got late. My fiance supported me as I would visit my grandfather every day right after we both worked all night. We would sit with him during the morning until another family member was able to come and stay.

In the middle of

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>