by Dan Williams

Created on: November 15, 2009   Last Updated: December 02, 2009

Preparing teens for the transition after high school has appeared to have fallen to the wayside. We are always concerned preparing children for transitions. Preparing for the next step in life. We as parents prepare for grade school, prepare for the dental or doctor appointment;however as the child ages we slack off. Part of this phenomenon is not that we do not care, but we are met with tremendous resistance. A child's ego is becoming formulated to the point of false hubris, and a want to make their own decisions.

Years ago, the preparation was for a trade, and if there was college plans, money was so tight that there was a dedication and respect which permeated the family unit. It seems the harder we push a teen in a direction that we feel is healthy, many times it is met with a turnaround in the opposite direction. Of course this is not true with many; however sad to say there are all too many high school seniors who have no plan, no guidance and refuse assistance. So what is the answer to aid them to go off into the adult world?

We do know that learning is multi-faceted, academia, experiential, role modeling, and failure. Yes learning comes with mistakes. Think back to your mistakes in relationships, school decisions, purchase decisions and employment decision. We learn there are not so kind individuals, that are greedy, have personal gain at the forefront of their value list, at the expense of others. These individuals will take advantage of young adults at job sites, which can be very beneficial as a learning experience. We cannot protect our children in all aspects of life, only forewarn them. The main areas of preparation that cause psychological pain and stress are relationships, employment, academic success and peer pressure.

All these areas spill onto other areas of life, and can directly influence degrees of stress and happiness. Preparing a child for the adult world of responsibility is not an easy task. Do not over look the importance of discussing and teaching children how to relax. Many scoff at this statement, however kicking back and playing video games all day, or watching DVD after DVD is not necessarily relaxing. Relaxation, feeling confident about who we are, and knowing we will fail only to improve are the best ways to prepare for the adult world. As parents we are so focused on the negative that can occur, and attempt to give direction. How often do we discuss hobbies, and instill interests that could parlay into educational interests and enjoyment.

Preparation post high school needs to include your own recognition of the uphill battle with communication, understanding it is alright to allow them to fail and be careful on bailing them out quickly. Preparation includes discussing and predicting possible pitfalls, having a safety net built in to reassure them about potential plan, "B," and support that they can always come to you for suggestions, advice or just as an ear to listen to their complaints. So often young adults just need to vent and we as parents want to give advice.

Preparation for life cannot be done solely through parenting. Life is experiential, and one must live it and fail a few times to develop character and learn. Prepare? How about teaching them how to tread water, learn to wear a safety jacket, and tell them some times, just some times it is best to try to swim to the other side for new experiences. No one will let them drown.

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