by M M Johns

Created on: November 15, 2009   Last Updated: November 16, 2009

Remembering Not Thinking Just Remembering

It has been said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. The implication is that the love has been lost, however, the love remains and grows, captured forever in the memories which are borne in the recesses of the mind.

As time moves inexorably onwards the memories become less of a painful experience. To cherish memories, to enjoy recalling them and be lost, albeit for a short time, in the joy of that time, must be one of the most pleasurable experiences. To watch, as an outsider, a couple standing hand in hand looking at a cabin sitting in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by towering pine trees, branches laden with snow. A thick layer of snow covering the ground and roof of the cabin in a pristine, virgin white, softly reflecting the pale sun and turning the light brighter than it actually was. The only sounds being the occasional plop of a clump of snow falling and being absorbed by the blanket that lay underneath. Not even a hint of a breeze and a soft, gentle mist creeping stealthily up the side of the mountain gradually turning the sun sinking on the horizon into a blurry, misshapen orange ball. The quiet is deafening. To see the joy and love on their faces at this time.

Then there is the realisation that love had superseded all else in the world. The feelings that are strong within, the joy that love brings. The fact that even the mundane were now special. Meeting after work, eating together, waking up together were now times to be cherished and remembered. A time when romance was as much a part of everyday life as breathing itself. The time of the declaration of that love and the knowledge that it reciprocated in full and growing exponentially as time passed.

To remember the planning of the future together, the hope, the ambitions and the sheer joy of optimism. All these keep the love alive. Remembering the pain, the awful, heart breaking pain after the loss still causes hurt many years in the future. It eases with time and is locked away in a dark corner as the more pleasant memories take precedence in the forefront of the mind.

Of the very few things which are private during the course of a lifetime, memories are the most important. Memories influence decisions and the ability to function as a better person. However, they cannot be taken away and cannot be tarnished. Memories are a link to the past, not a past with a fairy tale ending, however, a past when good times outweighed the bad. Memories are a tribute to the person who was loved and ensure they are remembered as they would wish to be remembered.

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