by Georgia Stewart

Created on: November 15, 2009

There are those who claim that there's no such thing as life after death but if they're correct they won't get the last laugh because they won't exist. Mind you there are some, I'm sure, who would discover a way to come back and tell us they were right, but then they wouldn't be because they'd be existing and disproving their point!

My worst fear about life after death is that there'll be politicians attempting to organise everything because they enjoyed messing things up on earth so much that to continue to do so after death would be their form of heaven.

This thought raises a question. How can we exist together in the afterlife when our ideas of what heaven is are utterly different? My heaven might be hell to you and vice versa. Considering this I assume that it must be a place that's universally acceptable, nay enjoyable, to everyone, which means that it's probably nothing whatsoever like life on earth as we know it. Well if someone likes music and noise and someone else prefers peace and quiet heaven can't be either or one wouldn't think of it as heaven. Am I being pedantic?

I'm hoping with all my might, in fact so much so that my temples are throbbing, that there won't be anyone appointed to ensure that God's many mansions are kept tidy. Or landlords that show up unannounced in order to do unnecessary maintenance work that I don't require.

If either of the above is in fact the case I'll be putting in for a transfer downstairs. I enjoy being a slob and God made me this way for a reason, perhaps he's a bit of a slob himself on the quiet. After all look at creation; trees and plants don't grow tidily, on the contrary, their seeds are scattered about by the wind and they grow where they land (I know gardeners who consider them to be exceedingly inconsiderate).

What if there's no heaven and hell at all, simply somewhere everyone exists in perfect harmony? (Yes I'm aware that John Lennon said it first; now you're being pedantic!). Of course if this is the case then most of us will require celestial counselling before we could get in because I'm sure that constant bickering wouldn't be allowed.

Perhaps there's such a thing as reincarnation, in which case I'd like to come back as a Mandrake grower so I can find out if they really do scream when they're pulled up. And how on earth does one scream without vocal chords?

Or I could come back as a useful, kind and considerate person for a change, instead of being a grumpy, pedantic (there's that word

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