by A Hightower

Created on: November 14, 2009   Last Updated: November 15, 2009

Is there ANY question that the ONLY answer is absolutely without doubt or second thought YES YES and YESSSSSSS! With the only condition being WHEN ASKED and when asked just be sure that it is a sincere and actual question and not just a formality or something that your partner feels obligated to ask....and when that issue is resolved all answers should be specific to the question.

If your answer is not sufficient for your partner, he or she should ask for more specifics until either all the specifics are given or he or she stops asking in the case of uncertainty....clarify that he or she wants more specifics BEFORE they are given. This may seem to be too formal or over carefull but it is the safest way to avoid over detailing and the person doing the asking should be able to appreciate your sensitivity of the issue as long as you actually are being sensitive and not sarcastic. This is not the time for trying to be humorous or making light of a sensitive and often dificult topic that many people never get the courage to attempt. Treat it as possibly THE most important discussion you might ever have if you don't successfully complete it and just another part of a strong foundation if you do.......and a strong indication of a lifelong successfull and rewarding partnership.

The one thing that I personally had a very hard time accomplishing but am absolutely convinced was the right thing to do, there is no debate as far as I am concerned, none that I have heard so far.......some things just are not negotiable or up for compromise at least not until this subject is dealt with......and even at the risk of repeating yourself be sure no detail is left out for any question asked again even risking repeating yourself. If he or she didn't want all of the story they wouldnt ask and at the risk of my credibility. There is great potential for voyeuristic pleasure in your sharing your past (the pleasant parts) and possibly the only source of sympathy and respect for the pain(s) of your past and a good way to truely appreciate who it is you are partnering with. After all how can one truly accept and truly admire someone that they don't truly know and there are an infinite number of more very good reasons to justify the whole truth and nothing less than the whole truth when someone truly wants to know and a friend in need is a friend in deed.

So if you want one (friend) you should be one and everybody knows that most of the best things in life aren't the easiest but they are worth what it takes, so think for the long run and make the sacrifice if that is what it is. You might just be shocked at the result may life give back what you put in.

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