by Thornshackle

Created on: November 14, 2009

Hi there, I am a hero. Note if you will the flowing cape, the colorful, form-fitting tights which seem molded over a perfectly sculpted physique, and of course the snazzy emblem expertly stitched across my chest. I can run at light speed velocities; leap entire city blocks in a single bound. I can fly, breathe under water, drink a super thirst slayer sized soda without having to go to the bathroom two hours later; and to top it off, at the end of the day, when I am all sweaty and tired, I can still thwart the machinations of evil doers everywhere via the unholy power of my super body odor. Yes sir, I'm a hero. But have you ever wondered who I consider a hero? I mean sure I know that I am a hero, and a super hero at that, but I'm not in this crime fighting, world saving game alone. There are certain people I would be utterly sunk without.

For instance, let's say I'm returning home to my top secret headquarters after a long, exhausting day of crime fighting, and I get hungry. Well you're probably supposing that I could simply use my super speed and run to where ever I want to pick up whatever I am hungry for, but no. Having super powers means having super aches and pains at the end of the day, and sometimes it's all I can do to just to walk off the chain of muscle cramps which threaten to gang rape my arms, legs, and abs, after repeatedly rubbing the noses of evil doers in the concept in action of good triumphing every time. That's when I am especially grateful to Tom, my grocery getter. Tom knows that when I call him up on the exclusive, secret communicator thingy, that it's time to hit the sub shop, or the pizza shack, or the ice cream parlor, or wherever, and pick me up something to munch on. About that time I also have him pick up some super strength icy-hot for my super muscle spasms. Tom meets me at a predetermined location, gives me my much needed items, in return for financial reimbursement, plus a super tip, and if I'm not too sore, I might even show him a super move. I always remind Tom that with great power comes great ways to pick up girls. At least that's what they told us back at super hero cadet school way back when. Of course that was before I knew I would be too busy for any sort of meaningful love life. Which brings me to Melanie, my second hero. Melanie runs her own massage operation, if you know what I mean. Sometimes even a super man needs more than just a little medicated zing to make the evening worthwhile; and Melanie certainly knows

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