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Cheating happens for a variety of reasons, but more often than not its because the cheater believes there is something missing in the relationship.

I believe everyone has the ability to cheat on a partner, I have encountered people in my past with a loathing of cheaters; whom when something goes wrong are often the first to fall.

I confess in my past I have both cheated, and assisted others in cheating (or became involved with someone who has cheated). Cheating is wrong for the partner left behind, but its not the worst thing you can do. When I have cheated it has been at the very end of a relationship, I'm not someone to string someone along. Sadly its not always so easy for some people, a lack of stomach for the truth or children often prevent the break.

Onto the case in point, you're in a relationship with someone who in the past has cheated. Communication is key to making your relationship with the reformed (or potentially reformed) cheater. You need to be very upfront with each other from the offset, be open about things you like and don't like. And most importantly allow each other trust, don't spend a relationship in fear that because they cheated in the past they will again, these are the feeling that if boiled up inside can lead you yourself victim to straying.

They say its not everything but sex is important, cheaters cheat more often than not because of sexual needs, sexual needs that cannot be satisfied with a current partner. When you start a relationship is very important to be incredibly open about sex, and if you understand the issues, hang ups, or fetishes of your partner you can save yourself an awful lot of heartbreak by moving on straight away. If your someone who is very into anal sex for example, and your partner is not its pointless trying to persuade them down that line; yes you can be understanding but don't do things you don't want to. You need to discuss with your partner if its something they can live without, and ask them honestly. If they cant live without it, and your not prepared to participate then its 99.9% likely that your partner will cheat. As soon as your sexually active or considering becoming sexually active with any partner regardless of their past you should sit down and discuss with them your likes and dislikes. This is slightly dangerous water so soon after the start of a relationship, but communication in respect of sex is going to happen at some point in time, so why put it off?

I personally know people who have cheated in the past, and have been with current partners for years having cheated and moved on to that partner. Some of these relationships have been going on for three decades. Like everything in life we all have aspects of our past we are not proud of, but again with clear communication you and your partner can make a long lasting and loving relationship if you really want to, despite past history.

Communicate, and trust and you'll reap the rewards.

Learn more about this author, Spencer Hawken.
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