by Joan Inong

Created on: November 14, 2009

"Tweens" is a 21st-century word that describes a young person who is over the age of 10 yet is not a teenager. Children who fall into this category often experience a phase that affects their self-esteem. In turn, parents of tweens must be able to set rules and boundaries by which their growing child can develop into a responsible and mature teenager. It is important to set goals for tweens, but it is equally important to reward them.

Setting goals

The process of setting goals for your tween will involve both you and him/her. Sit your tween down and ask what kind of goals he or she wants to set for him/herself. What goals would you like to see? Chances are, you will be able to agree on a few goals. Talk about the goals that you do not agree about. How can you compromise? What sacrifices are your child willing to make? Remember, you are not obligated to make any sacrifices, but your child is (because you are the parent).

Many tweens will need to live by calendars, mostly because they will be able to easily see what kind of goals (both short term and long term) they can achieve. Purchase a large calendar that your child is able to put up on his/her bedroom wall. Use stickies and note pad paper to write down any short term goals. At the top of the calendar, write a long term goal that can be finished by achieving the short term goals.

Setting rewards

Without motivation or incentive, your tween won't think that following through with goals will be worth it. It is important that your child is rewarded every time he or she achieves a goal.

Whether the reward is monetary or praise, make sure that your child knows that you really appreciate, and are really proud of, his or her achievement. Rewards, however, should not be given freely. Create tiers so that the reward fits the goal. For example, when your child gets on the honor roll, you may have large reward. If your child gets on the soccer team, you may give a smaller reward.

As you can see, setting goals and rewards is not difficult as long as you involve your tween in the process. Tweens need to be understood and spoken with, and creating relevant and important goals with your tween is crucial to his or her development.

Learn more about this author, Joan Inong.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.