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Humor: The first day of school

by Joseph Duffy

Created on: November 13, 2009

The Desk, The Take-Down, The Page of Ones;

My First Day in School.

I remember September 1954, and my first day at school, very vividly. Actually, first day was registration. There was no kindergarten, only for Public School. You went directly to first grade. Mom took Jim and me over to the school, which was one block behind our house. We had to enter the doors on Cedar Street, then line up on the stairs to get to the second floor, where we were to be registered. The line took forever. There was a little blond-haired girl right in front of us and her mom had her count to 100, to show her off to the other moms. I must admit that I was totally impressed by this feat. Really. She also could recite the alphabet, no mistakes. This was easily the smartest little kid I had ever met till this point. Jim, my twin, and me got assigned to Room 16, Sister Margaret Eileen. There was some small amount of warning about her, but all-in-all it was a pretty good assignment. There were 50 of us kids in room 16, our first grade room. This was The Baby Boom.

Our first day of actual school was probably the following Monday. Mom saw us to our "line", which is where you "line-up" before entering school, which you did when the bell rang. That was the last time Mom escorted us to school. We were not babies any longer. Two events stand out in my recollection about the first day. Make that three events; The Desk, The Take-Down, and The Page of Ones.

Jim and I got assigned to the first desk, first row. Please note that I say "Jim and I", as we were assigned to one desk. The Twins. How humiliating. Nuns from other rooms came in to look at us sitting side-by-side in one desk, and they all pointed and giggled at us like we were zoo animals. I hated it. This didn't stop for a few years, this "aren't they cute" stuff. Mom always tried to dress us exactly alike, to make matters worse.

The next event that day took place in late morning. We had to line up, down the hallway, for some reason. I think we were getting textbooks or something. Suddenly there was a scream coming from the front of the line and a boy threw his books down to the floor and ran back down the hall screaming and crying. His name was Leo Hogan. We watched as the nuns took full control of him. It was a sobering moment, a take-down, for those of us who were watching. This is what will happen to you. This school 'thing" is way bigger than you are, so you might just as well submit to it. Just say "yes Sister" and do what you are

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