by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: November 13, 2009   Last Updated: November 17, 2009

The quest for happiness in marriage varies depending upon whether it is a woman or man who is doing the search. One factor to consider is that men are frequently easy-to-please individuals. They don't require much to be happy. Give them a home that is neatly maintained, food to eat, time to sleep, some loving and they are all set. Women, on the other hand, put much more emphasis on feelings. They specifically have to feel loved on their individual terms. However, some women expect this need to be satisfied by their husband, but often they cannot put words their sought-after feeling. One of them needs to determine the source of their marriage happiness. Do you suppose that it has its basis in the heart of each of them as individuals?

When in the presence of a truly happy couple, there is an energy, a glowing radiance, and serene feeling that generate from them to everyone in the crowd. Heads turn. Others become silent and listen to them. Their confident presence makes a noticeable difference. Why not use them as a role model. You may even inquire as to whether or not they would object to your asking them questions concerning some "how to's" that you are struggling with. Such a couple has succeeded in attaining their quest for happiness in their marriage.

Happiness in marriage could be compared to mail in the mailbox: some days the mailbox is stuffed full, other days there's a bit of mail and yet on a few, there it is empty. So, too, with happiness in marriage. However, unlike the mailbox in which the letter carrier places your mail, you are solely responsible for the degree of happiness you own. It can be affected by other people, events, weather, work, etc. Basically, your level of contentment and self-satisfaction surfaces from within you. Therefore, if you are seeking it from elsewhere in your marriage, you will be sorely disappointed. Two reasonably happy individuals will most likely result in a happy marriage. Conversely, two unhappy individuals may discover that their marriage is likewise, unhappy.

Once the couple has identified their emotional needs and communicated such, they can point out to each other specific weak areas that the husband or the wife need to work on. Together success can be measured and rewarded. Such reward should be determined in advance. Yes, it may be a bit childish, but we really never totally grow up. Though we grow older, challenges and needs vary. Celebration of successes add the the happiness equation.

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