by Annie Duncan

Created on: November 13, 2009   Last Updated: November 14, 2009

The damage from sexual abuse runs deep and sometimes coping strategies can be as damaging as the abuse itself. Sexual abuse victims frequently turn to alcohol, illicit drug use, and may even become the abuser when they are adults. Sexual abuse victims may develop phobias or other psychological disorders that will prevent them from functioning socially. Sexual abuse may cause panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares, and post traumatic stress disorder long after the abuse has stopped.

How to heal?

First off. recognize that healing is a lifelong process, and even though the abuse was something terrible that happened to you it is not what defines you. Do not let it define you and who you are but do accept that it happened to you.

Secondly, re-own you and empower yourself. The abuser took something of value from you; the abuser treated your body like it belonged to them. It didn't and what they took they stole. Look at your body and rejoice in its beauty lumps and bumps and all, and know that it belongs to you and only you. Know that no one has the right to touch it without your permission. If they do they are committing a crime and like someone that has reached into your purse and taken your wallet, even if it was left in a place that was accessible, even if you left it open they still didn't' have that right, and you would report it immediately . The same is with your body, even if you were in the wrong place or made a bad judgment, they did not have the right, they stole from you.

Thirdly, If you are having panic attacks or anxiety learn some healthy coping strategies. Recognize that they have to be unique to you, what works for you. You may like de-stressing by listening to soft music, having warm baths with candles, going for a walk, meditation or prayer or deep breathing. Find ways to cope with the anxiety attacks when they happen, slow your breathing, recognize what is happening and why and if you need to leave and find a quiet corner do it.

Finally, seek counseling if at all possible. If not affordable or available, then find books that deal with it, read articles, talk to your doctor , see what resources may be provided by your community , but most important make you a priority and getting healthy and happy a goal.

What delayed my process of healing came from the belief that I had to forgive and forget. Unfortunately, my definition of forgiving was to let go of blame for the perpetrator and that is wrong. The whole idea I had to forgive and relinquish blame

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