by Lisa Beach

Created on: November 13, 2009

Networking with teens their own age is necessary in order for the teen to gain [and keep] his/her sense of value, selfworth as a human being. In this century - high tech toys, and thing these kids have -it's hard to even BE a teen.

Teens are sensitive. Teens with cancer can be more sensitive than healthy teen, and never show it, out of humiliation - it's a trouble only they feel; no one is actually staring at them, etc. These are kids who think their peers are impressed merely by the clothes they wear, or how their make up or hair is done.

This is true if one is Brittney Spears and her crowd, but not of regulars like you and me.

Teens need acceptance and reassurance

Teens need networking and the reassurance and acceptance it provides: They may slough off the advice as being stupid because it's from their parents, but they are listening, nonetheless Reading brochures or finding forums online in which to chat can help.. At the very least, it lets them know they are not alone. And that's a biggie. When diagnosed, getting past denial it is the hardest thing to do...

Being an adult with cancer, it's hard enough for me and the adults around me to accept it, much less a teen. It takes strength of spirit, and the knowledge that one is loved, no matter what the circumstances. I can only think that like all cancer patients, there are times when they feel abandoned. At such watershed moments, they may even think "you have to love me - you're my mom" [Or Dad]

They feel alone and abandoned: Of course that way of thinking is extremely hurtful to some parent, but s/he must brush it aside. Teens often play mind games, to see how far they can push. Please realize these are young people unable to "think around corners" as I like to put it. This means they cannot, and do not, think about what their consequences will be. Youth is just that way They are at that age where mom n dad "know nothing".

Teens feel attacked: Again, this feeling is blamed on Mom and Dad. They are the closest and most handy trash can for a teen's anger. Anger keeps a teen feeling helpless

Networking online where other cancer teens hang out, reading brochures left out by Mom where the teen can see and read it, even a half finished list of cancer centers for teen or social outings can be productive... as long as a teen doesn't know it was left there on purpose. Or that it was left there out of Mom's curiosity, and not the child's.

Having breast cancer myself, I can understand such fears and worries; Cancer only goes away under the right conditions, most of them medical. It is a complex creature that hits at random, and there's very little anyone can do to reverse it.

As a teen, you need to steel yourself against any laughing or snickering school mates may cause. People often laugh about what they do not understand. Soon enough they see you are the same you as before, and things go back to normal.

It happens to every one who is diagnosed... over time, one finds the strength to go on. Go out of your way to network, and it will be easier for you.

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