My having reached 40 meant a lot to me, as I deliberately took action to face changes more bravely. My Father has just died of lung cancer less than 5 months before I turned 40, and I saw a lot of changes pouring into my life. I was not married prior to coming here in the US, and I was loaded with work and business concerns. Having been able to access some personal sources of capital, I've put up small businesses one after the other, and have in a way, leveraged myself from what I thought I could best handle during that time. Given the demands of my full time job, the challenges of my Father's disease, and the growing concerns of my small businesses, I knew I was ready for more changes. I then decided I could plug the re-start button in my life, so to speak.
I flew over (again) here in the USA from the Philippines (a former colony of the US more than half a century ago) when I turned 40 years old. Having arrived in this country a few weeks short before turning 40, I coyly told my friends and hosts that I'd be celebrating my birthday soon. They took my message very kindly, and arranged to have a small dinner with me on my birthday - I remember the occasion very well, as it was in a big restaurant in Chinatown in Los Angeles (LA). There were other customers that evening in that restaurant on a weekday, but I enjoyed and felt very grateful for the celebration.
I found myself in LA because I thought I had to visit the tomb of a very good friend who died after suffering from severe physical trauma from a car accident that she endured for months. I knew I had to pay her some homage for our friendship, so I had to wait in LA for a few weeks so that I could be brought to visit her tomb. It took her relatives sometime before I could meet with them - they were just so loaded with work and other personal concerns that we could not find a convenient schedule. But by God's grace I finally got to visit my friend's tomb, and I experienced feeling my heart would explode for her literally, in my grief. It would have been more fun, if she was still alive during my arrival time then, but with things as they were then, a lot of changes instead have dawned on me.
I gave up my full time job back in the Philippines doing Human Resources work with a company that has operations worldwide. Most people, who don't really know me deeply (or were even confused by what I would give out as signals for help from them) would mutter to me, in their own special ways that I was taking too much risk by facing these changes this way. But I was confident, and have never felt very adventurous before.
I had to temporarily leave back in the Philippines a long term partner whom I pray and expect up to now would follow me here in the US, so that we could live our lives together again. There are better prospects in this country from the angle where I've been seeing these developments. I have moved on deliberately with much trepidation (and fervent prayers with the Lord with whom I have grown to develop stronger faith, and who'd be by my side against all odds on the surface).
It has been a see-saw of a ride in most respects, if I will have to describe my life here in the US, briefly. A lot of developments have taken place, and I have been on a great adventure in real life, more real and far more interesting (easily) than most movies shown out there. As they say, "truth is stranger than fiction," though I'm hesitant to share more details as I still live this kind of life up to this very moment. (Fantastic) Developments still happen, that I am barely able to find time to reflect more completely to see these developments in a proper perspective from a distance.
I've ventured into all kinds of jobs that would allow me to earn some income or another to eke out a living. But there are "no complains, though from me" - at least not the major ones. It's been a struggle, mostly because it has been a bad period relatively speaking for most businesses here in the US, even with recession still being experienced up to now. But I've been always delighted to have made a decision to stick it out here in New York City (NYC), more than any other places of the US. I would have definitely not stuck it out here, if I didn't find NYC to be conducive to my lifestyle. This is a great city for foreigners like me, for which I'm sure I can't claim to be always true in most big cities in the US. I'd claim these, despite fears and apprehensions of others who have been here in the US in earlier generations ago.
I wish I could say something more positive about fellow countrymen who were also from where I came from. Apparently, each one of us who have moved on with our respective lives here would discover soon certain difficult issues with changes of re-living our lives here. A lot, I have observed have been not as forthright or candid with how they're leading their lives. A lot would project to me their deep-seated frustrations, such that whatever I may have been able to accomplish with little help from them, would (always) be dismissed, or thought of "minor." I'd hear all kinds of criticisms that are actually directed to themselves inwardly but they maybe inadvertently voicing out to me. Honestly, I'd say a lot of my countrymen need special therapy just to be able to lead more fulfilling, complete lives here in the US. But I doubt if a lot would even admit to this, as I know that to admit to seeking out psychotherapy (in one form or another) would mean "you're a failure at least emotionally."
So what else is in store for me? "A lot more of the good," I'm confident in saying. I'm leading a more interesting, fascinating life. I've been more cognizant of my own creative powers that the Lord has showered and blessed me graciously. I've been doing a lot of writing gigs lately (mostly through Helium, and other online sites). I've found at least a part of my calling, which answers my need to lead a more meaningful life in my 40s.
I've met and known a lot of helpful angels (they're apparently real persons, at least in my experience) in my ongoing sojourn here in the US in my 40s - I have realized that what makes this country more powerful is the presence of many helpful strangers who are almost always willing to extend help one way or another. I would have not survived this long if I had not received valuable help from all these kind-hearted people whom God must have sent my way to start life again here at this period of my life.