by Jerome Espinosa Baladad

Created on: November 13, 2009   Last Updated: November 14, 2009

My having reached 40 meant a lot to me, as I deliberately took action to face changes more bravely. My Father has just died of lung cancer less than 5 months before I turned 40, and I saw a lot of changes pouring into my life. I was not married prior to coming here in the US, and I was loaded with work and business concerns. Having been able to access some personal sources of capital, I've put up small businesses one after the other, and have in a way, leveraged myself from what I thought I could best handle during that time. Given the demands of my full time job, the challenges of my Father's disease, and the growing concerns of my small businesses, I knew I was ready for more changes. I then decided I could plug the re-start button in my life, so to speak.

I flew over (again) here in the USA from the Philippines (a former colony of the US more than half a century ago) when I turned 40 years old. Having arrived in this country a few weeks short before turning 40, I coyly told my friends and hosts that I'd be celebrating my birthday soon. They took my message very kindly, and arranged to have a small dinner with me on my birthday - I remember the occasion very well, as it was in a big restaurant in Chinatown in Los Angeles (LA). There were other customers that evening in that restaurant on a weekday, but I enjoyed and felt very grateful for the celebration.

I found myself in LA because I thought I had to visit the tomb of a very good friend who died after suffering from severe physical trauma from a car accident that she endured for months. I knew I had to pay her some homage for our friendship, so I had to wait in LA for a few weeks so that I could be brought to visit her tomb. It took her relatives sometime before I could meet with them - they were just so loaded with work and other personal concerns that we could not find a convenient schedule. But by God's grace I finally got to visit my friend's tomb, and I experienced feeling my heart would explode for her literally, in my grief. It would have been more fun, if she was still alive during my arrival time then, but with things as they were then, a lot of changes instead have dawned on me.

I gave up my full time job back in the Philippines doing Human Resources work with a company that has operations worldwide. Most people, who don't really know me deeply (or were even confused by what I would give out as signals for help from them) would mutter to me, in their own special ways that I was taking too much

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>