by Andi S Green.

Created on: November 13, 2009   Last Updated: November 14, 2009

Divorce has become a modern-day fact of life. In most of the Western world, nearly half of marriages end in divorce and in a large percentage of break-ups there are children involved as well. Sometimes the sheer pressure of having children has increased tensions in an already-shaky marriage. At other times, there are parents who would have divorced a lot earlier if it wasn't for trying to stay together 'for the sake of the children' as it were. But needless to say, these marriages have ultimately ended up in divorce and children can feel every bit as bruised and battered in the midst of the trauma of divorce as the parents are who are involved in the split. So why do these children need special attention?

The emotional security and future sense of identity of children can be harmed.

The children involved in the middle of a divorce can feel a huge sense of emotional insecurity having witnessed the separation of the two most important people in the world to them. From birth, children tend to see their parents as one unit and it is this sense of unity between both parents that provides the basis for a child's sense of stability and self-esteem. When this unit is shattered through divorce, children have to reassess their sense of safety and acceptance. After all, what they have always known and what has been an unchangeable presence in their life, is suddenly changed. Children can feel that they cannot count on anything in their life to remain consistent and this can affect their ability to achieve consistency themselves, within future relationships or even within their own identity. It is important for divorcing couples to realise the vulnerability of their offspring and they should do everything they can, in the middle of all their chaos and upset, to protect feelings of insecurity in their children.

Children can be affected by what they have witnessed in the marriage.

Unfortunately, children who have witnessed the unhappiness between two conflicting adults, the two people who they count on for all their needs, can carry the legacy of emotional after-effects over into their own adult lives. There can be many repercussions on the future development of children who have witnessed turmoil between their parents. The children may even believe that it is their fault that their parents are divorcing. Or quite often, children can develop abnormal perceptions of how people should treat each other.

Frequently, children are brought along as unwilling passengers with their

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