by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: November 13, 2009

There are an astounding number of relationships today that are hit with the hurricane force storm that infidelity brings. There are many people who think that this has to be the end of the relationship, or that there is nothing salvageable left of it to work with anyways, but this is not really the case in most instances. It is often the assumption that if there was any love left between the two, then the affair wouldn't have occurred. This is not the truth, either. Affairs happen and they don't always have anything to do with a lack of love for the person that one shares a commitment with. I do not condone affairs in any way, certainly, but having been touched by the reality that they do happen, I can see a much broader picture than I once may have.

If an affair has happened in your relationship and there is any way to repair the damage, especially if you are married, it is well worth your time to at least give everything that you have to save the relationship. Take a moment and think about what really happened that led to the affair. It more than likely had a lot less to do with whether or not you loved your partner than you think. It is easy to just say that you fell out of love and go on your marry way, but unless you never moved past the infatuation stage of your relationship, you don't just "fall" out of love. Something has happened that the two of you have allowed to happen, but that doesn't mean that you can't take action and repair whatever that may have been.

The most important thing that you are going to have to do is to regain the trust of your partner. Trust is a foundation stone to your relationship that you really can't move forward without. It will take patience and it won't happen overnight but it can happen. There are some very essential things that you can do during this time that might help things along.

First, allow your life to be an open book. Let your partner feel free to access anything that is yours. Don't put anything off limits, cell phones, wallets or purses, pockets, desk drawers, whatever he or she is interested in, be sure that he or she feels free to investigate. Under normal circumstances, this would be odd for most couples, but in committing the ultimate betrayal, you have moved far beyond normal circumstances. Trust may once have been given freely, but this time around, you will probably need to earn it. One of the ways you can do that is to be as open and upfront as possible.

Another way to regain trust after you have deceived

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