by Jeannette Rodgers

Created on: November 12, 2009

Preparing teens for a healthy psychological transition after high school actually begins during childhood. Equipping our children with proper socialization skills at a younger age makes the transition through adolescence alot easier. Allowing teens to progress through autonomy and individuation will help them as they face the "big world". Giving them the room to grow and experience certain tests and trials throughout school with peers, team sports, learning how to drive, curfews, and chores also teaches them accountability and gives them structure, understanding of rules, responsibilities and societal norms.

Another area that seems to be difficult for some parents but is necessary; is allowing their children/teens to emotionally express themselves. Parents tend to share emotion through raising their voice, reprimanding, discipline and other forms while the child is often silenced from expressing themselves emotionally as it is often viewed as a sign of disrespect and rebellion. Psychologically speaking, teens need to learn how to appropriately handle conflict and emotional issues that will arise. There must be balance and allowance in learning and utilizing proper affective skills in the home and during school so that after high school the teen will recognize healthy relationships throughout life. Emotional expression, regulation and interpersonal skills are a necessary tool in all relationships.

An overprotective parent will find that if they attempt to protect their teen from the realities of the world; the teen will inevitably face feelings of low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, anxiety, fear and feel terribly incompetent and extremely vulnerable as they step out into adulthood after high school.

Usually a teen has attempted to volunteer or work a part time job while in high school which is helpful and prepares them for what they will face as young adults. It is an interesting transition as the teen finds that rules and consequences follow them in life. Many teens who are isolated or sheltered from seeing this prior to graduation will feel that rules were just for home and school and think that they are invincible to laws, regulations, rules and consequences of society. It can become overwhelming to the teen if they were not slowly adapting to this factor of life

Also, overindulgent parents who gave their children everything they ever wanted and beyond will find that their teen may find it quite difficult to adjust to having to become a responsible adult who must find their way expecting that things will be given to them without having to earn it both monetarily and respectfully. Overindulgence can result in maladaptive ways of thinking for a teen as they attempt to merge into society. This teen will also wind up suffering with the lack of self-confidence and doubt their own abilities since an over-indulgent parent has done everything for the teen and given everything to the teen.

When a parent offers unconditional love, appropriate boundaries, healthy discipline, and accepts their teen as an individual with independent views, allows the teen to develop their unique personality and encourages growth into a responsible and autonomous adult; the teen will make a healthy psychological transition after high school graduation.

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