by Bhavya Dabas

Created on: November 11, 2009

Do opposites attract? People say they do. But then, people also say that birds of a feather flock together.

Sometimes, it seems as if opposites attract. For instance, suppose I am not a very outdoorsy or adventurous person, but I would like to be. But I am slightly scared of being adventurous. If I meet someone who is a lot more adventurous than I am, I would grow to admire and like that person and would, quite possibly, be attracted to him. We would spend some time together, he would help me move past my fears and help me become the person that I really want to be and I would like him all the more for that.

Maybe I wanted to be a painter. But I happen to be stuck at a dull corporate job that confines me to a gray cubicle where I tap at my keyboard. Suppose I meet someone who is actually a painter. Possibly gave up a corporate job to become one. Wouldn't I fall for him?

When opposites seem to attract, it is mostly because you see a trait in the person which reflects who you actually want to be yourself, who you are at heart.

People who are actually poles apart cannot gel well together over an extended period of time. If one person wants an exciting lifestyle and a job which takes her to different cities all over the world, and the other wants a peaceful country life, they cannot live with each other and be happy. One of them has to give up their true identity and turn into someone they are not. People who do not, in the long term, want the same things in life, cannot be together for too long.

I am of the opinion that, more often than not, it is the birds of a feather that flock together. Two people have to be essentially very similar and want the same things in life in order to develop a strong understanding and a stable relationship. Only a doctor can completely understand the pressures that another doctor faces, being constantly on call and working erratic hours and weekends. Not everybody can relate to a partner whose job involves a lot of travel. Or one who is a chef and works extended hours on weekends and holidays when everyone else is relaxing at home and spending time with their families. It takes one to know one. It also takes one to understand one.

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