by Bhavya Dabas

Created on: November 11, 2009

Handling your relationship with someone you broke up with can be quite tricky. Sometimes you may feel uncomfortable and completely out of place just being around them, and sometimes you long to see them, but tell yourself that it's in your best interest not to.

Whatever said and done, it is true that the two of you certainly had a lot in common and shared a good understanding and rapport, which took you as far as you went in your relationship. You know a lot about each other, your likes and dislikes, your needs and wants, your moods and goals. And all of that puts you in a very good position to be each other's best friend.

If the two of you were friends before you started going out, or have a common friend circle, or work or study in the same place, or generally have reasons to find yourselves running into each other quite often, then it is just good sense to learn how to be cordial with each other, at the very least. Sure, you must be mad at each other immediately after your break up, but you can't stay mad forever. It's just not good for your own mental and emotional health.

You may have broken up because one of you wanted to get married and the other didn't. Or that one of you was not quite ready for a more serious relationship. One of you wanted to have children and the other didn't. Your jobs were in different cities and neither of you was willing to give up their job and move. These are all perfectly valid reasons to break up a romantic relationship, but these are not things that matter when two people are just friends. In a friendship, what matters is that you are willing to listen when the other person wants to talk, offer your advice when they need you to, and are there for them when you are needed. You can still do all those things, even if you don't want the same things in life in the longer run.

Once you are past the awkward phase that comes after a break up, it may be a good idea to strike up a friendship, or rekindle a friendship that existed before you started going out. As long as both of you are clear on the reasons why you broke up in the first place, and know that you don't want to get back together and hurt yourselves again, it may just be a really good idea to turn the bitter romance into a sweet friendship.

Learn more about this author, Bhavya Dabas.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.