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Explaining the concept of a "Dear John" letter

by Jade Fitzgerald

Created on: November 11, 2009

A "Dear John letter" is a letter written to a husband or boyfriend to inform him that the relationship is over.

It is commonly believed that these letters originated in America during the Second World War. Many American men were stationed abroad for many months (sometimes years) at a time. During these periods many of their wives and girlfriends became frustrated and bored so found comfort in other men.

A break-up letter would then be sent to their serviceman partner. The letter would always begin with a simple formal greeting such as "Dear John" which served to let the recipient know they were about to get bad news.

There are a few theories as to why the name John was chosen to represent the phrase. Some people believe it was just simply because of the commonality of the name John at the time. Also, the name John is used when the name of a male is not known e.g. when a male body is found the police refer to him as John Doe until an identity is known.

Other people are of the belief that "Dear John" was a reference to the song "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" which was very popular during the war.

Another theory that exists is that the term comes from a radio program which was presented as a letter written by a female character to her anonymous partner. The letter begun with the words "Dear John."

The term became so commonly known that some women didn't even bother to compose a full letter. They would just write "Dear John" and send it to their partner whose name was often not John.

When fellow soldiers enquired about the contents of the letter, the dumpee would respond "Dear John, that's all she wrote." It is widely accepted that this is how the phrase "That was all she wrote" came about.

The "Dear John" concept has been adopted by song writers, film makers and authors. In 1951 Hank Williams had a song called "Dear John" which has been covered many times since. In 1964 there was a film entitled "Dear John" and 2 television shows have taken on the name "Dear John."

More recently in 2006 a book was published by the author Nicholas Sparks entitled "Dear John." The John in the book receives a letter from the love of his life while he is serving in the army following the incidents of September 11th. A film adaptation of the book is to be released in 2010.

The "Dear John letter" may have been replaced by the "Dear John email" but it is still very much in use. Members of the military still receive these kinds of letters today.

There is also the "Dear Jane" letter which was the male response to the "Dear John letter". Although the term is less common some female military members did receive these letters.

Learn more about this author, Jade Fitzgerald.
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