by Stephanie Durden Edwards

Created on: November 11, 2009

It is an inevitable part of every holiday season. Anticipation tickles your fingertips as you rip apart the fancy bow, digging full throttle into the silvery wrapping paper. The box is large; your expectations soar. Could it be cashmere? Chanel? Well-disguised jewelry?

None of the above. It is your first Christmas as a newlywed, and he has given you a stainless steel twelve quart cooking pot.

And you spend the remainder of Christmas Day referring to him as your first husband to your family.

In spite of the mileage the story of the poorly chosen present may get when repeated over and over to sympathizing friends, there is another way to handle the whole affair. Smile and graciously say thank-you.

Taking the high road when faced with lemon of a holiday gift isn't always easy. But it helps to remember that behind that gift gaffe is real person who probably thought they were doing something right. That real person will spend the rest of the day in misery if you reveal your true horror in front of his family and friends.

How do you graciously accept a gift that you do not care for? It is not an easy thing to do. The art of gifting is based on the principle of surprise. Disappointment may not always be easy to disguise. But there are a few things you can do to minimize the damage to the well-meaning giver.

First, smile while you unwrap; and hold on to that smile like your life depends on it. It is much easier to be convincingly gracious through a meaningful grin than a grimace. Look the giver in the eye, involving yourself in the giver's enthusiasm can curb the dreaded look of unpleasant surprise that will tip them off to your true feelings. You can deal with it at home, in private.

Secondly, tell yourself well before the occasion to expect nothing. Considering any gift as icing on the cake, and not something owed to you, can help you conjure up sincere gratitude, in spite of the actual usefulness or worth of the gift. Considering the actual celebration, why allow one negative put a damper on spending time with family and friends?

Finally, find something positive to say. Comment on the color even if you hate the design; note the uniqueness of the choice even if you have no idea exactly what it is. On the off chance the gift was given in bad taste, take the high road anyway. Return graciousness no matter what the perceived intention is. Chances are, you may not really understand. Playing it safe may head off an even uglier exchange that could ruin more than just the holiday.

In some circles, graciousness is considered a dying art. Indeed, it is a wonderful surprise to find it practice by children and teenagers. The scarcity of the virtue is certainly understandable when considering the degree of strength it takes to practice it. Nonetheless, learning to accept a gift, any gift, with grace and appreciation is a gift in and of itself to the giver.

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