by Linda Kay

Created on: November 11, 2009

"Preacher's kids are supposed to be perfect, sit still in church, clean up after the rest of us, and do whatever we say they have to do whenever we say they have to do it. Plus, it is our responsibility to discipline them whenever we see fit". Can you imagine having to grow up under such an assumption? Yet, twenty three years ago, as a young mother/preacher's wife this, among other things, is what I was told. Had I been given a dollar every time I had to put up with such nonsense, I could have retired a wealthy woman.

You have to laugh at the ignorance of this type of thinking. We, as a family, found it easier to laugh at the audacity of our fellow lay-persons, as opposed to letting their behavior eat away at us. After all, we tried to live according to God's Word and Psalm 119:165 says "Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them." (KJV)

In listening to our congregants, I always asked for a Scripture reference when they made unreasonable demands of our children. When they could not come up with one that required perfection for preacher's kids, I came up with one of my own. Matthew 5:48 says "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect." (KJV) This verse is required of each individual. There is no place in the family, church, or even Scripture that singles out the preacher's kids for a set of standards any different than the layman's.

No, preacher's kids are not perfect. Yet, I would hope they would conduct themselves as befitting a child of the King wherever they are. This in no way makes them better than anyone else. By comparison, though, I can see where some people may struggle with it.

One of the saddest signs of our times is abuse. It takes many forms: alcohol, domestic, and drugs, for example. Too often I've seen children from this type of home. Some of them were hateful toward the preacher's kids. The root of the problem was bitterness, or even hatred toward their parents, and family life. Some of these precious souls suffered greatly. They were embarrassed by the old, often dirty, worn out clothes (the only clothes) they had to wear. Sometimes they were hungry; often neglected, and forgotten. To aim their feelings toward their parents was useless. So, where did it go? It went to their preacher's kids. They were made the whipping boy; the brunt of cruel jokes, and other outlandish behavior. Why? In them they saw parents who loved their children enough to care about their well-being, and that is what their own hearts longed for.

Like everybody else, preacher's kids are no better than another. Their rights stop at the end of their noses just as the next person's does. The difference, for some, is the knowledge that they are cleansed by the blood of Jesus and strive to live a life above reproach, as should we all.

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