If I had more spending money or if I had a husband or if I had a different husband or if my kids got better grades or if I lost 50 pounds or if I lived in my dream house or if I could complete my college degree or if I could find a better job or if I could ditch all of my stressors or if I had a pure-bred Yorkie or if I lived in a milder climate or if I had more confidence or if I had more "down" time or if I got more respect from my family or if I were more outgoing or if I could afford to go to a health spa or if I owned a BMW or if I - - (you fill in the blanks. . .)

Happiness is defined in diverse ways, depending on who is defining it. But there is one common thread running through people who are happy, regardless of their circumstances, and that thread is acceptance. People who accept their current situation are well on their way to happiness.

There are plenty of aspects of my life that fail to bring me happiness. I don't like being on a budget, and I don't like watching every calorie I eat to keep from gaining weight. I'm not happy with the price of gasoline or the existence of smog or my daughter's latest boyfriend. I don't like housecleaning. I'm not happy with the weeds in my garden, and I'm not happy with certain irritating individuals. But I possess a great deal of happiness. I have accepted all of the previously mentioned conditions, even though they have - at times - robbed me of my serenity.

"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, It is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. . . Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes." (Excerpted from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, p. 417)

Unhappy people spend a great deal of time trying to control their external environment, thinking that this will make their internal environment comfortable. But their efforts always fall flat. Though we may not be able to alter a situation, we can change how we look at it. In situations that we cannot change, our attitude is the only card we have to play. So why not use it?

When I am feeling sad, mad, or just a little emotionally under the weather, I accept the imperfections in my world and then count my many blessings. My attitude changes for the better, and I stop trying to control the uncontrollable. Serenity returns.

Life is too short to dwell on the negatives. They bring us down, rob us of our peace of mind, and always leave us wanting. Learn to accept where you are, including its imperfections.

When you do, happiness will soon follow.

Learn more about this author, Jenna Pope.
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