by Katherine Born

Created on: November 09, 2009   Last Updated: November 13, 2009

While I believe that toddlers should be given small chores, I do NOT think that chores should be given with the intent to build self-esteem. Has the person writing this question ever met a toddler? The toddler age is the most self-confident, "I'm great!" age any of us will ever experience! It is only after years of discouragement and development that children lose their "world revolves around me" mentality and their self-esteem plummets.

Toddlers should be given small chores for several reasons. The first reason is - they want to do them! Toddlers want desperately to be involved in a real way with the activities of the family. Not "pretend-play"-involved but actually accomplishing real tasks. This is the best way to build their self-esteem if they need it - giving them the joy and benefit of helping the family in small but concrete ways.

The second reason why toddlers should be given small chores to do at home is because it prepares them to help outside of the home. I am sure that anyone who has met several toddlers will have run into this one - the monster child. This child, through continued parental indulgence and lack of responsibility, has become a terror to every playmate and parent unfortunate enough to encounter them. They hit, bite, scream and refuse to help put away the toys they threw all over the room in the first place. Their self-confidence is supreme but they are in serious danger of future depression because their personalities are developing into such unlikeable patterns that nobody ever wants to play with them or even be around them. They are the child of the play group that everyone breathes a sigh of relief when they get sick; the child it is impossible to find a babysitter for (at least one who will come back!); the child that the preschool asks to wait another year before sending in; the child the parents despair of ever teaching good behavior. What reasonable parent would ever want this to happen to their own beloved child? None - and the best way to make sure that your toddler behaves well in outside situations is to train them to help and be kind at home.

The third reason toddlers should be given small chores at home is because it prepares them to accept responsibility for bigger jobs as they get older. If a parent plans on doing every household chore for the rest of their lives, then this would not be an issue, but most parents expect their children to help at some age; the best way to insure this help is not given only after 3 tantrums

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