by Charles Depalmo

Created on: February 15, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

You've already read this a million times in a million profiles and blogs. Usually, you'll hear it from a woman, but this is slightly different - this is from the male perspective. You probably won't notice much of a difference because I've found that when people relate the lack or loss of love in their lives, we all sound similar regardless of our individual genders. Loneliness doesn't know whether you're a man or a woman - and it feels the same to anyone else who has had it. Please don't think I'm whining. Just consider it... venting...

When it comes to love on a romantic level, the only two kinds I've ever dealt with have been unrequited and misinterpreted. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I have never been in a true romantic relationship with anybody. Sure, I have had casual and sexual affairs with women in the past but nothing that I would consider to be anything in the vicinity of love. Nobody has ever been my "girlfriend," or my "lover," or "significant other" or any of that. But that doesn't mean that I haven't tried.

I've been out on dates. However, they don't end up going past a second or third get-together for the most part. For some reason, I don't operate well on dates. I end up nodding my head profusely to everything she says, agreeing with everything she believes in and basically doing all that I can trying to appease her in order for her to like me. And while she may believe/enjoy it for a little while, she'll eventually be over me because I don't really let her know who I am - I just try to be who I think that she would want me to be. This is definitely not the right way to go about things, but for some reason I don't seem to do it any differently no matter how many times I promise myself that I'll change.

And then it turns into the same old story - either I'm not for her or we should be friends or some ex-boyfriend came back into the picture or my messages go unanswered or whatever. The same old story has never been one that I've particularly enjoyed. And of course it is preventable. I would have no problem if somebody decided that I wasn't a match for them if I just acted like myself instead of a head-bobbing robot. But I wouldn't know because I've never done the right thing. I guess that I'm afraid to be myself because if I were to do so and still be rejected, I would feel like there was something wrong with me. Now I know as I write this that it is probably not the case, but still when I am in that situation it is as if that subliminal

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