by Ananda Van Der Westhuizen

Created on: November 09, 2009   Last Updated: November 10, 2009

It has almost become an obscene and dreaded phrase throughout the years: sibling rivalry. Is this an evil event attacking all the families on our planet, or is it a natural part of every household that was named? Does it have any advantages to the victims or victimizers? Is this something that happens in households of a certain culture or income group or family structure? Does it happen in only public or private school households, or does it happen in home school households? I would like to take you on this journey of examination and discovery, bringing a greater understanding of the precious young ones entrusted to us.

Sibling rivalry has been described by many respected individuals as an age old problem, flowing from a natural occurrence. One that has, through time, almost evolved into something horrible. William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D, writes in his essay 'Sibling Rivalry and why everyone (and not only parents) should care about this age-old problem' that the 'problem is basically one of competition for limited or scarce resources'. He writes further that 'the scarce resources are the TIME, ATTENTION, LOVE and APPROVAL that the parents can give to each of their children'. Wikipedia refers to sibling rivalry as a 'type of competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not'. It further explains that this competition can be due to 'parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family'. What does this mean to you and me? Should we as parents, sit on edge the whole time wondering if this can turn into a killing of the weaker sibling? Or should we start dividing the house into enough spaces with everything equally divided to ensure that a battle to the end can be avoided? If so, most families do not have the time to sit around observing and definitely not enough room to ensure equal division of whatever resources might be necessary.

Maybe we must delve deeper into this interesting matter. What about prevention? Is there anything we can do to change the occurrence of this hostile existence? According to the child psychologist, Sylvia Rimm, there are a few groups one should consider as possible candidates for sibling rivalry. It is 'particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender, or where one child is intellectually gifted'. Living with my two boys I have noticed behavior similar to that described in many of the pieces I studied before writing this piece. Sibling rivalry

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