by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: November 09, 2009   Last Updated: November 10, 2009

To respect another person is to show honor, consideration, deference, even veneration to them. Respect is something we all hope to be given by others as a sign of our worth.

There are a number of different ways in which respect is shown. It can vary from someone being normally courteous in behavior towards us or it can be something more.

Being respected makes us feel the world is all right, yet when we feel we have not been so treated, we feel demeaned and it evokes a variety of strong emotions in response.

Respect is not something given lightly to another. It is to be earned. If our behavior is polite and unaggressive we have a right to expect to be treated with respect. This is in the normal, everyday use of the word. But a special form of respect is given to those who have done something we could not do, performed actions we admire or because they merit special attention because of long term work for a cause, through exceptional discoveries or the great pleasure they have given us through their work.

Being able to offer respect to another person comes from inside us. There is something we recognize as valuable in another individual because we also have respect for ourselves. Without having respect for ourselves it is impossible to offer such consideration to another human, because if we do not know what it feels like, we cannot tender it. When we have self-respect we are willing to give it as well.

Being respectful does not necessarily mean being afraid to be honest with someone else. If you value that person, you will be able to tell them if you disagree with an idea or what they have said. It would be disrespectful to go along with whatever they wanted however wrong you feel it to be because of a misplaced sense of veneration.

This suggests that to show respect means having courage to put another point of view which might be very different. If the individual is worthy of your resect they will value you and respect you for your response.

When someone dies, whatever our real feelings about them, we 'pay our respects' and this sometimes creates problems. Should we be honest and say that just because they are dead does not make them suddenly worthy when we disliked them in life? When we are in a discussion we say, 'with all due respect', before we destroy their argument.

Respect is a personal response to another. To offer it, demonstrates something of our own self-worth as well as the regards we have for the other person.

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