by Lara Lewis

Created on: November 09, 2009

So it's finally come to that awkward post-breakup question- Can we still be friends?
The answer is yes, if you follow the rules. Not guidelines, but rules. Stick to these rules and provided the two of you are actually over each other, then you can absolutely be friends.

1. Communication is key. Phone calls are good, but texting is bad. Texting post-breakup is a very dangerous game. Texts can be interpreted in so many different ways; it can become difficult to figure out what the other person is actually saying. For example, if you send a text to your ex that reads, Hey, how are you? that could take is as:

Hey old buddy old pal, just want to see how you are doing. Or Hey, I miss you so much. Who are you with? What are you doing together? or even Hey, I want you! Now! so, even if your intentions are strictly platonic, stay away from texting.
Instead, go with a casual, occasional phone call.

2. Don't talk or see each other to often. Seeing or speaking with an ex to often can bring back old memories of when things in your relationship were great and can cloud the reason for the breakup. This can lead to heartbreak all over again. Once every few weeks or so is fine, but speaking every other day is sending the wrong message, even if the conversation goes well.

3. DON'T SLEEP TOGETHER! This may seem pretty basic, but so many people forget that there is no such thing as casual sex, especially with an ex. Let's say you're at a party and just happen to run into each other. Maybe you have a few drinks, one thing leads to another and you end up in bed. Do not let this happen! Not only will it make for an awkward morning after, but it also puts you both back to square one in trying to form a healthy friendship.

4. Don't introduce the new girlfriend too soon. Even if you're with a big group of friends and your ex is there, meeting the new girlfriend is a rough thing to go through. It's equivalent to getting fired and then getting a phone call from your boss, ranting and raving about how amazing your replacement is. It hurts and is fun for neither party involved.

5. Make sure you are really, truly and absolutely over your ex-girlfriend before you even think about trying to be friends. Rushing into a platonic relationship will leave you pining for the other person and frustrated when you can't have her. It's dangerous to your health, sanity and heart.

If you remember one thing from this article, it should be to take it slow. Forming a friendship with an ex is important, especially if you were friends before you became romantic, but nonetheless, it takes time. Give yourselves plenty of time and space to heal after the breakup and then see how it goes from there. It can be done, but not necessarily immediately.

Learn more about this author, Lara Lewis.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.